Dead Evil Devs, A Thank You!

This post contains a minor spoiler about a quest from Ost Forod in Evendim. If you'd rather not know, please stop reading now.

Still here? Ok, then I'll continue!

I was merrily questing away in Evendim, when I found an NPC in Ost Forod who needed a chest of goodies delivered to the island of Tinnundir.

Ho hum, I thought, another delivery quest. After doing the Quick Post and Spoiled Pies in The Shire with all of my characters I was rather hoping not to see any more of these, but still, the island is close by and it's quick and easy XP.

So I accepted the quest, and picked up the chest.

The quest details had told me to avoid Unfriendly Men (I had been wondering what they were there for), so I quickly checked my minimap, and found several closing in on me. Eep!

I jumped over the edge of a parapet into a clear space, injuring myself in the process, and was quickly spotted and caught by one as I limped along.

Doh!

Oh well, back up and pick up the chest again...

This time I was a little more careful, and managed to get down the stairs between Unfriendly Men, and jogged for the exit with my chest bouncing away (why oh why are none of the quest rewards a good sports bra!?!?).

Unfortunately, there was an Unfriendly Man guarding the exit I headed for. Luckily I spotted him in time, and turned around and headed for the other exit.

Unfortunately, there was an Unfriendly Man guarding that exit too. Uh oh!

While I pondered the situation, yet another Unfriendly Man snuck up behind me, and it was Quest Over for a second time.

*sigh*

Ok, back up to the top, get the chest yet again, and begin working my way back through the town. This time I know both exits are blocked, so I use all my guile and cunning, and leg it through a handy hole in the wall!

Freedom!!!

With the Unfriendly Men left behind, I happily start jogging towards Tinnundir to hand over the chest and claim my easy XP.

'A Greensward-Hind threatens to attack.'

Uh oh!

A Greensward-Hind headbutts you, stunning you in the process! Which of course makes you drop the chest.

Oooooooo, evil, EVIL Devs! Designing a delivery route through mobs that almost always stun when they chase you!

Oh well, back to Ost Forod, and pick up yet another chest.

Avoid all the Unfriendly Men (none of whom offered to help a lady carry her heavy load either, so I think they should be renamed Unfriendly Chauvenists!), through the gap in the wall, carefully avoid that deer with the hard forehead, and set off again for Tinnudir.

A Whitemane Scavenger bites you in the leg, making you limp along at half normal speed!

EEP! Evil, EVIL Devs! Designing a delivery route through mobs that almost always stun when they chase you, and other mobs that almost always slow you down!

Still, at least I'm still going... sure, the timer is ticking down, and a second wolf has joined in, and my Morale is starting to look dodgy, but if I can just keep going they'll eventually give up.

A Greensward-Hind charges up and nutts you, making you drop the Chest!

Noooooooooooooo!!!!

*sigh* I trudge back to Ost Forod, being variously bitten and nutted along the way, and pick up yet another chest. How many is this now? I've lost count.

I avoid the Unfriendly Chavenists, I clamber out through the hole in the wall (I'm sure I snagged my leggings! 8-( ), I avoid the close-by Nutter Deer, I scout around the two Limpy Wolves, and make a dash for it.

A Scouting Tomb Raider thwaps an arrow into the back of your head! Ouchie!

Hah, arrows, I laugh at arrows, they neither slow me down nor make my chest drop (old age is almost as evil as the Devs!), so I just keep on going.

Unfortunately, there are just two many wolves and deer around, and weave as I might I can't avoid them all, and soon enough there are several on my tail. Still, I'm closing in on the island of Tinnundir now, and I have A Cunning Plan!!!

I dive into the river, to try to shake them off.

Yeah, I know, I've done the Post and Pies seven times now, I really should know this, but my brain was already too full of arrows and bitings and nuttings to cope with yet more input...

The moment I hit the water, the chest vanished.

AARRGGHH!!!! Evil, EVIL Devs! Designing a delivery route through mobs that almost always stun when they chase you, and other mobs that almost always slow you down, with a destination on an Island to tempt the unwary to try to swim it!

If only Tolkien had thought to include Tupperware containers in his books 8-(

So, back I go, swimming back to the bank, running back through all the mobs, getting stunned, bitten and shot at all along the way, part the Unfriendly Chauvenists and back up to the Chest.

Pick up the chest, avoid the Unfriendly Chauvenists, through the hole in the wall, avoid the Nutty Deer, round the Ankle Biters, and head for the bridge to Tinnundir.

The bridge with its own small herd-in-residence all down the final approach path... Hmmm...

Ok, back up the path, timer ticking down, down the bank, don't fall in the river!, and creep along the edge towards the bridge, EEP, SPOTTED, LEG IT LEG IT LEG IT!!!

Ok, I'm on the bridge, one Nutty Deer behind me, I'm running my legs off, I've nearly concussed myself on this stupid chest, the deer is charging, IT MISSED!!! Run RUN RUN!!!

Phew!! I'm over the bridge, and the Nutty Deer has given up!! I can catch my breath at last!

Noooo!! No time to breath, timer ticking down, only seconds to go, must find hand in NPC, run RUN RUN!!!

YAY!!! Made it!

/cheer /dance /collapse in a heap!

And I thought this was going to be easy XP!

Having finally made it, and despite all the rude words, the thrown teacup, the vow to track down and punish those responsible, I felt a great sense of accomplishment.

This was not the 'ho hum just another delivery' that I'd expected. It was a task that would have stumped the mightiest hero in the land. And I'd finished it! Go me! 8-)

So I would just like to take this opportunity to thank the evil, EVIL Devs, for all their hard work in ensuring that I had to work hard. May you continue to do Sauron's bidding for an Age to come.

Thank you!

Callia

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